Psychology and Sexuality

This topic is as broad as it is deep. We could say that everything is, or is related to, sexuality. That's how broad the topic is. We could say that the human psyche (our overall psychology) expresses itself sexually throughout our daily lives. Sexuality, then, is deeply rooted in human nature.

This topic is of great importance, so let's begin by stating the obvious: sexuality is a biological instinct that moves us to procreate, but it also is a psychological instinct. Being more frequently active, the psychological instinct is likely more powerful. Archetypes, discussed in previous columns, are the potentials in our unconscious (hidden psychology) that assist human development. The sexual archetype or our psychological instinct remains active throughout our lives. It stimulates our minds and bodies, arousing our thoughts and body sensations.

Beyond instinct, sexuality is related to the masculine and feminine elements in our unconscious psychology. In part, each of these elements represents the characteristics that we find most attractive and desirable in a potential partner – our ideals. Each acts like a lens through which we see our potential partners. This type of seeing is called projection. We see other people through our own lenses, distorting the people who receive our projections in such a way that we are extremely attracted to these people. This attraction drives us to want to meet and feel sexual toward the other person. When our projections wear off, as we so often experience, we no longer see the other person through our ideal lenses. That is, we no longer feel the sexual attraction to the person.

Another especially important psychological sexual experience must be described. When we are born, our psychological lives begin forming. Although we are primarily unconscious, we do gradually develop consciousness (awareness). When we do, our conscious experiences inform us that we are separate from other people, objects, and also from something bigger than us -- the unconscious psyche from where consciousness emerges. This separation influences us at a sexual level because each time we feel sexual or meet someone in a sexual experience, the separation temporarily vanishes. The feeling is that of being united. We think we're uniting with the other person. We are, but we also are uniting with the origin of our consciousness or the unconscious psyche.

As mentioned, sexuality and sexual experiences are so much broader and deeper than briefly described here. Understanding some of the psychology, however, can be a benefit adding to the pleasure of our sexual experience.