Authoritarianism

What do you think you're doing? You can't do that! I don't want you to do that! Do what I say!

These are all expressions of authoritarianism. Often, these types of expressions are found in some form of relationship. The more personal the relationship, the more likely this type of expression is directed at the other person without any subtlety. The more distant the relationship, the more subtle the wording and manipulation, but the same authoritarianism is conveyed. In all cases, these are dominant expressions, controlling expressions and abusive expressions.

People who are authoritarians usually love power, like to be seen as leaders due to their controlling ways and portray themselves as strong. Of course, their psychology is just the opposite. They are weak and need to compensate for their weakness. They are insecure and they haven't any idea what it means to be a leader.

Some other psychological profiles for such people include narcissistic personalities, sociopathic individuals and borderline personalities. These profiles are far too complex to describe in this column. However, let me highlight each.

Narcissistic personalities see nothing beyond their own noses. Everything is about them.

Sociopathic individuals are severely, psychologically wounded and wouldn't hesitate to hurt other people.

Borderline personalities have an extremely difficult time relating to another person and do so by introducing drama and outrageous demands.

Whether we consider the first three characteristics – controlling, power driven and strong, or the three profiles – narcissistic, sociopathic and borderline, we can safely say that these individuals are not psychologically healthy or well developed. They lack the ability to relate to, and empathize with, other people. In fact, authoritarians are often dictatorial and manipulative, as they assert themselves with others.

Does any of this sound familiar? It could. So often, people are brought up in abusive families or live in abusive marriages where authoritarianism is expressed. There also are many historic groups and figures who exemplify these traits. Hitler comes to mind. We certainly don't have to look long or hard in our lives and the daily news to find examples of authoritarian individuals and groups.

When we encounter such people, it is best not to engage them. If they are in your life, it is best to seek help from someone you can trust. It also is important to note that there are groups and individuals representing authority who are trustworthy and ethical. The critical point is to recognize the difference. Of course, how we respond to authoritarianism depends on our psychology, but that's a topic for another column.