More about Molly Bowlen: For the last three years, Molly has worked at the Clinical Psychology Center and at Curry Health Center Counseling Services at the University of Montana providing individual and group therapy and assessments to children, adolescents and adults. Molly was raised in Nevada and fell in love with Montana after relocating to pursue her graduate studies. She enjoys a wide range of activities and hobbies, with some of her favorites including skiing, hiking and enjoying the outdoors.
More about Emily Hattouni: Emily left the lakes of her hometown in Minnesota for the mountains of Montana to work on her graduate degree. Her education has included providing individual, couple and family therapy to the community, as well as assessments for children. Since moving to Missoula, she has worked with the Flagship after school program and the SpectrUM Science Museum. Her favorite hobbies include knitting, hiking and yoga. She enjoys listening to music, meeting new people and making connections.
To the members of the Seeley Lake community,
Have you ever had a dating partner who:
• Embarrassed you or put you down?
• Controlled who you see, where you go or what you do?
• Took your money or refused to give you money for expenses?
• Prevented you from working or going to school?
• Told you that you were a bad parent, or threatened to take away your kids?
• Threatened suicide because of something you've done?
• Threatened to hurt or kill you?
• Pressured you to have sex when you didn't want to or do things sexually that you're not comfortable with?
• Prevented you from using birth control or pressured you to become pregnant when you're not ready?
• Threatened to "out" you because of your sexual orientation or gender identity?
• Exerted power over you because of your immigration status, such as destroying legal documents or withdrawing or not filing papers for residency?
• Used your disability as a way to control you, such as damaging your assistive devices, withholding medication or overmedicating you, or stealing your disability check?
These are all examples of abusive behavior. Abuse might not always look the same because every relationship is different but the thing that most abusive relationships have in common is that the abusive partner is trying to have power and control over their partners.
Many victims may feel as though they caused the abuse to happen – but abuse is never the fault of the victim. No one deserves to be abused. The person responsible for abuse is the abusive partner.
Abuse can have lasting impacts on a person. Some of the emotional impacts might be:
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). You might be easily startled, feel tense or on edge, have difficulty sleeping, or have angry outbursts. You may have flashbacks to the abuse, or experience nightmares. You may also have trouble remembering things or have negative thoughts about yourself or others.
• Depression. Your feelings of sadness may interfere with your work, sleep, or recreation. You may experience fatigue or be unable to get out of bed. You may feel worthless or have intrusive thoughts about death or suicide.
• Anxiety. You may feel nervous, restless, or tense, or have a sense of impending danger, panic or doom. You may have difficulty controlling your worry about everyday activities or events.
• Unhealthy drinking or substance use. Your drinking or substance use is negatively affecting your relationships, school, or work; or you feel bad or guilty about your use.
Abuse is hard to talk about. It is often kept secret, because it may make people uncomfortable when we talk about it. People may judge others who have experienced abuse, asking, "Why don't you leave?" or saying, "I would never let anyone treat me that way."
Survivors of abuse may also feel guilt or shame about experiencing depression, anxiety, PTSD or using substances to cope. But if we can't talk about abuse and its impacts, it's difficult to heal from it.
The Seeley Swan Healthy Relationships Project provides FREE mental health counseling for community members and their children in the Seeley Swan Valley who have experienced abuse, sexual violence and/or stalking. Counseling can provide a safe, confidential place for you and your children to work to improve relationships, increase self-esteem, change unhealthy patterns and decrease feelings of anxiety and depression. If you or your children could benefit from counseling, we hope to hear from you to see if our services might be a good fit.
Counseling is provided by Molly Bowlen and Emily Hattouni, who are both students in the psychology doctoral program at the University of Montana.
You and your children deserve to be safe, happy and healthy. Our program is here to help. To schedule a free appointment in Seeley Lake, please contact us at (406) 546-0016.
Kelly McGuire is the prevention and outreach manager at the Missoula City-County Department of Relationship Violence Services, which coordinates the Seeley Swan Healthy Relationships Project in partnership with the University of Montana Clinical Psychology Center. She can be contacted at 258-3838 or kmcguire@missoulacounty.us.
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