Celebrating 50 Years of Love and Independence

SEELEY LAKE – On June 15, Betty and Adrian Vanderwielen celebrated 50 years of working together while encouraging one another to be independent in their marriage.

The Vanderwielens met when they were in the same speech class at junior college in California.

"Betty got up and talked about a poem by E.E. Cummings and I thought I've gotta go out with this girl," Adrian said.

It took Adrian several weeks to convince Betty to give him a shot, but eventually she said yes to a date. Six months later, they were engaged.

"Actually at some point I said 'I really like the person I am when I'm with him' and that clinched it for me,'" Betty said.

One of the Vanderwielens' strengths as a couple is their complimentary skills and talents. Adrian has a doctorate in chemistry and was always good at science and math. Betty has a degree in literature and has good writing skills.

"For my PhD I had to write a thesis," Adrian said. "Without Betty I would've had a real hard time getting that written in a readable way."

Adrian would go on to publish 22 academic papers, each edited, at least a little, by Betty.

Even though they work well together, like all couples, the Vanderwielens have had a few arguments over the years. Their secret to resolutions is a rule Betty set before they got married.

"Whatever happens it's always the husband's fault," she joked. "Then you don't have to argue about whose fault it is. It saves a lot of time"

Another rule Betty made says that the husband is obligated to keep his wife warm. This works well for them, Adrian claims his body temperature is a full degree and a half higher than hers.

But even with obligatory cuddling, the couple still finds time to be independent as well. They enjoy activities like cross country skiing and canoeing, both of which allow Adrian to get a workout and allow Betty to enjoy the scenery and wildlife.

"I like to piddle and he likes to paddle," Betty said. "We go to the canoe trail and I take my time and see what I can see and see what animals are around. Adrian paddles up the river in the other direction like he's racing and we meet at the same time."

This independent spirit has carried them through many stages of life. The couple has lived in San Diego, Edmonton, Alberta, Kalamazoo, Mich. and Missoula before moving to Seeley Lake full time in 2002. They have two children Kristin and Keith and two grandchildren, Jared and Josh.

"That's how our marriage has gone," Betty said. "We find a way to do things together and yet have our own way of doing it."