Horse Tradin'

It's springtime... no wait. Not in my neck of the woods anyway. It's January 78th, but that's another story for another day. 

Anywho... What I meant to say is that it's horse trading season again for the dude ranch, and given the going price of horses these days, we should've spent less money on diesel for snow plowing, starved the kids, forgone Christmas, hit the millionaire jackpot and hocked granny's fine china. All I can figure (and hope for) after reading through some of these for sale ads on Facebook and Craigslist is that these people must be in dire need of furthering their educatin'. Because if you're going to ask $10,000 for a horse but you can't bother to check the punctuation and spelling in your ad, then friend, I'm probably not real interested.  There is a difference between knowing your nuts and knowing you're nuts.

Uncle Jack always says that when it comes to horse trading that "You don't have a good starting price until you've insulted the owner. Not the horse, the owner."  I chewed on that thought and after reading through some recent sale ads, I figure he's on to something.

Not that I'm an expert on your horse you're itching to part with but I'm willing to go out on a limb and bet that there are some other cowboys and cowgirls out there thinking the same thing.  Here's an example of an ad I came across while scrolling:

"For-year-old sorrel gelding. Green broke great foundation, great on trails no Buck no rear. Needs to be finished. Very willing ties all day trailer front shoes. If interested please call. $3500."

I assume the horse is a four year old? Green broke? We all have different ideas on that subject. You can read the rest for yourselves... Sorta leaves you scratching your watch and winding your butt, doesn't it?

Example 2: "Selling my 2 yrs. old paint mare, She's registerable, she's halter broke, leads, trailers, she's a little clumsy with her feet , but she just needs some training with her feet.

She's about 14 1/2 hands. She's had a saddle put on her and she was ridden, so you could call her green broke. $1500."

I don't know about you, but there ain't nothing better than a clumsy footed horse. Next...

"Gentle Quarter Horse Tricolored Paint Gelding, 9 years old, 15 hands tall, 1,150 pounds. Has a very nice disposition with good conformation. He is a gentle horse. He steps right out, no spurs needed. He is bold on the trails, can be ridden out by himself and can be taken anywhere. Horse has a very nice disposition. No buck, bite or kick. Also, he has been ridden downtown. I am almost 70 years of age and I enjoy riding "Horse". If you know how to ride a horse, you will enjoy riding "Horse". He works very well in the round pen, his ground work is excellent and he is easy to work with. Awesome mountain trail horse. He walks out nicely on the trail. Goes through rivers and streams, over pack bridges and crosses over downfall easily. "Horse" has been on several back country pack trips in the wilderness. You can lead the pack string off of him or you can use him as a pack horse. Also, he has been roped off of and has moved cattle from summer to winter pasture and back. "Horse" has a friendly disposition and is willing to please. He learns new skills quickly. He stands quietly at the mounting block to get on and off. "Horse" loads/unloads into the trailer easily, and he stands quietly for the farrier and was just recently shoed and recently had a vet check and his teeth floated. Must go to a good home. I want him to go to an amazing home. I will be picky. He is for sale, not on sale. $9,500 cash."

Dang, he really has done it all.  Did I mention he bucks a little high and to the right? And he really needs that $9,500 to pay off a hospital bill?

I must be out of the loop these days, because I keep seeing pictures and videos accompanying these ads that show the person standing on their horse, or bouncing big beach balls, or wearing t-rex costumes while riding. I mean, there really ain't nothing handier than being able to wear a real nice t-rex costume while riding down the wilderness trails enjoying nature.  It's also extremely useful keeping a pissed off mama cow at bay while roping her wylie little calf for doctoring.

Bottom line, you can think you are showcasing your horse's mad skillz, but really, you're just showing me your horse is the smart one. So kudos... Heck, maybe he really is worth that $10,000 price tag.  After all, he's survived you.

Give me a horse with heart; a horse of no particular color or background, but full of try and grit and good; one that will give me an honest day's work, keep me humble, and teach me.  I'll pass on that fancy bred, chubby halter horse for $10,000 this time. Thanks just the same.

Happy Trails & I hope you're a little more successful in your horse trading ventures than we've been...