Denial

Denial is word commonly used in the therapeutic world because many people deny their surrounding reality and their emotions. It is important to ask: Why is denial so common and what does that really mean?

When a person has an illness and doesn't admit that she/he is ill, that is an example of denial. If a person hears that a loved one is dying and doesn't accept that fact, then denial is present.

These descriptions are clear examples of denial. In both cases, the person is not willing to face the reality of the situation or their emotions. Perhaps a simple but good definition/description of denial is an unwillingness to face reality.

Typical reasons for denying reality include: fear, ignorance, blame and personal beliefs. These reasons are associated with making big changes in life, admitting a wrong-doing or false belief, being self-centered or not being willing to collect more information from reputable sources. Reviewing the reasons and associated situations, it appears that personal effort and/or questioning oneself are required to avoid denial. At the very least, a willingness to accept different or new possibilities is needed.

Denial also is related to not being open-minded and simply following the easiest way; that is, using personal beliefs. How easy it is to say: "I'm not ill. The doctor is wrong." Or to say: "She is not dying. She can't die." Although these are easy statements to declare and believe, each denies the reality of the situation.

We have experts who spend their entire adult lives learning, researching and acquiring experiences about particular situations. When these people introduce meaningful details meant to benefit us but we don't consider the reality of their discoveries and claims, then denial is present. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't question experts and their understandings but it does mean that we must be flexible enough to seriously consider informative and critical perspectives without personal biases.

From personal to social situations, many other daily examples can be listed. Climate change, news media reports, cultural differences and political diplomacy are but some of the areas that are currently associated with denial. Remember that personal opinion, or belief, is just that – opinion, which might or might not be based in reality. When not based in reality, the opinions and beliefs are skewed toward denial and away from informative perspectives and evidence. What follows not only denies reality but can be dangerous to individuals, society and even the larger world population.

As mentioned, denial is associated with personal opinion, bias, uninformed understandings, fear and selfishness. Is there any doubt, then, that denial is destructive and an obstruction to reality?