Students approach teachers and officers to give them hugs and express appreciation for their care and concern. Teachers took the opportunity to tell students how important and worthwhile they are. Chief Deputy Coroner Jace Dicken said it was a very emotional event. He said, "There wasn't a dry eye in the place."
Students from Potomac School, Swan Valley School and Seeley Lake Elementary wrote encouraging words on banners to fellow students who might be feeling bullied or depressed.
Backed by screens showing bullying text messages sent to his daughter, Director of "Say Something" Jody Dyess tells how the messages eventually led her to attempt suicide.
SEELEY LAKE – Hip-hop music was blaring, colored lights were flashing and three 14-foot screens carried rotating Say Something logos as fifth through eighth-grade students from Seeley Lake Elementary (SLE), Potomac School and Swan Valley School entered the SLE gymnasium Jan. 17. The ultimate purpose was to convince them to say something if they saw or experienced bullying, were having thoughts of suicide or knew of someone else contemplating suicide. An evening program covering the same topic was given to parents and community members.
Seeley Lake Deputy Sheriff Mike Sunderland was the main impetus for organizing the program with the help of the Missoula County Sheriff's Office (MCSO) and the Say Something organization which presents programs around the nation. The Seeley Lake presentation was the first of its kind in Montana.
The student assembly was emceed by the director of Say Something Jody Dyess and MCSO Chaplain Lowell Hochhalter, who introduced himself to the students as Walt. The warm-up part of the program included a lip-synch contest between Sunderland and SLE Principal Chris Stout followed by the YouTube video "Kid President's Pep Talk to Teachers and Students." The more serious parts of the program included a video showing the lips of students voicing hurtful words and a story illustrated with still shots of a father who refused to give up on his son buried after an earthquake.
Between videos, Hochhalter and Dyess presented statistics, stories and advice. Among the statistics: Montana has more suicides per capita than any other state. Lowell told the students the statistic should make them angry. It should make them want to do something about it.
Dyess said, "Words can be powerful. They can lift up or they can tear down."
Dyess then related the story of his own daughter who was targeted by three seniors when she started high school. The seniors sent her text messages calling her fat and telling her to kill herself. Dyess said those kinds of messages repeated over time had a devastating effect on his daughter until she eventually did attempt suicide. Dyess was able to get to her in time but he said the attempt nonetheless had a profound effect still being felt by his daughter, her family and friends and the community.
"I believe you're a generation that can stop [bullying]," Dyess told the students. "I believe you're a group of students that can say, 'You know what, it won't happen again here in Seeley Lake. Not with me. Not with my friends. We're going to take a stand.'"
Two banner-sized sheets of paper and colored markers were set up on tables and Dyess urged the students to use them after the assembly to write words of encouragement to their classmates and to others who might be struggling or thinking of suicide.
Lowell said, "Each one of you in this room deserves to be treated with respect, with honor and with dignity."
He urged students to tell someone if they knew of anyone who was being a bully or being bullied. He said society was wrong when it preached "keep your nose out of other people's business" or "it's not cool" to say something to adults in authority.
To show the students some sources of help available to them Lowell and Dyess asked all the teachers to come stand in front of the screens. Lowell said if students could hear teachers' conversations the students would understand how much their teachers care for them, how much they worry about students who are not doing well or have difficult home situations.
Missoula County Sheriff T.J. McDermott, eight other MCSO police officers, representatives from the Fire Departments, First Responders, Fire Department Rescue Teams and the United States Forest Service attended the assembly to confirm their support for the Say Something program and to offer themselves as contacts students could access. They too were asked to stand with the teachers.
Dyess said, "These people will be here for you when you think nobody else is. These people literally put their life on the line because they care for you."
Stout added, "I thought it was very important to have these people line up here for you to see. Every single one of them cares as much about you as they do about their own kids."
Students were then asked to approach the teachers and officers, to talk to them, tell them how much they are appreciated, maybe give them a hug.
At the evening presentation, Stout told parents one of the reasons teachers, officers, first responders and others were asked to be present at the student program was because studies have shown kids need four or five adult anchors in their lives. He described the interaction between students and lined-up adults as "moving, really very moving."
The main message for parents at the evening meeting was to give their children lots of positive affirmation and to keep the lines of communication open between themselves and their children.
Chief Deputy Coroner Jace Dicken spoke about attempted and completed suicides in Missoula County. He said one common denominator is most young people aren't very good at committing suicide and there are always warning signs before the attempt. A second aspect is the young victims feel a sense of parental disconnect. The third commonality is that prior to the attempt the young people talk with their peer group. However their peer group is unable to help them because they themselves don't fully comprehend the permanence and magnitude of the act about to be committed.
Sunderland followed up by telling parents they had to make time to listen to their children. If they saw signs that something was not right with their child's behavior, they had to ask the hard questions. And, if necessary, directly ask, "Are you contemplating suicide?"
The program ended with Hochhalter urging parents to hug their kids, to give them what he called a "dad pat."
He said, "We as human beings crave attention and affirmation. [A dad pat] gives a feeling of affirmation, a feeling of positive physical touch. It communicates trust. It communicates you have value. It communicates I'm here for you."
At the conclusion of the Seeley Lake program Sunderland said he considered the presentations "a huge success." This was the first Say Something Assembly dealing with bullying and teen suicide. Later this month the group will give an assembly at the DeSmet School. They hope to get approval to give the assemblies throughout the Missoula County Public School system.
Reader Comments(0)