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It’s always difficult to say goodbye. Whether it’s to someone we love, a relative, or a close friend. Why is that? The obvious answer is our deep relationship to whom we’re saying goodbye. If we love someone and lose that person to a relationship breakup or death, the feeling of loss is the same. If it’s a close friend, the feeling of loss might be a little different, but saying goodbye remains difficult. Aside from this obvious understanding of loss, what else could be inducing the feeling...
Creativity and human nature are almost synonymous. That’s because people are creative in almost every moment. We tend to think of creativity in terms of great painters, musicians, or outstanding cultural developments, but there is much more to the creative process than meets the eye. The creative process flows from the depths of our psyche (our psychology) to our consciousness (our awareness), and then we express it in our lives. Creative expression begins with young children, as they play a...
The title of this column can be understood from several different points of view. For example, most often environmental changes that engulf the planet come to mind. There also is the environment that engulfs our inner world, that is our psychology or psyche, and then there are the political, family, scientific and other environments that engulf our lives. Changes or needed changes can be related to any or all of these environments or climates. Understanding that the word climate is not clearly...
Personality characteristics are complex. We live with our personalities without giving them much consideration but that’s an unconscious (not aware) way to live. Here are some ways to become more conscious of your personality. I previously introduced several personality characteristics – extraversion, introversion, thinking, feeling, intuition, and sensation functions. Now, I want to introduce a couple of influences on these characteristics – the masculine and feminine sides of a perso...
We know we possess a body. That’s obvious. All we need to do is look in a mirror or at a part of our body, like an arm, to realize this. We also know we have a mind, which, again, is obvious since we have thoughts, make decisions, are willful, and so forth. One of the great mysteries throughout all of time, however, is how mind and body interact? One theory is a unity of mind and body. If there is a unity, then there really isn’t a separate mind and body. We know the two must connect simply bec...
Why is it important to know the difference? It’s due to the fact that life is full of experiences, both while we’re awake and sleeping. Reading, watching a movie, reviewing a dream, fantasizing, imagining, listening to music and much more make up our experiences. Each experience is filled with symbols, signs or both. Signs are most familiar to us. As an example, a stop sign comes to mind but our language also includes signs. Each word has a specific meaning. This specificity indicates the wor...
It’s time to return to the importance of dreams. Dreams are common nighttime experiences, as common as our daytime experiences. The problem is that we don’t easily remember dreams, not as easily as we remember daytime experiences. Why is that? That’s because we are not conscious (aware) while we sleep but we are when we’re awake. That seems obvious enough. If we’re not conscious when we sleep, where are the dreams coming from? Dreams come from the unconscious (hidden psychology) or inner wor... Full story
I've described a person's ego (identity and I-ness) in many ways over the years. I'm returning to the ego today because the ego is responsible for so much of a person's conscious (aware) psychology and behavior. Developing a balanced ego is important for everyone, but it doesn't always happen. People are referred to as egotistical, which means they are inflated with big egos and think highly of themselves, even if no one else does. People also are referred to as self-centered, which means they...
What a strange word! It originated with the ancient Greeks, and although unfamiliar to most of us, its meaning is critical. Do you remember the old grandfather clocks with a pendulum? The pendulum swings from one side to the other to enable the clock to function and maintain time. It's the pendulum movement that helps us understand the meaning of this word. The pendulum repeatedly swings from one extreme to another – from one side to the other side. That's basically what our strange word means ...
By Ken Silvestro, PhD There is a sense that the earth we stand on is becoming soft and muddy, that the foundation on which we function each day now has holes or is not solid. The feeling is one of walking on a cloud. There is nothing firm about our standpoints. Usually, this feeling or sensation is temporary but it's always disturbing. What is happening? It is our egos (our sense of identity or I-ness) that is undergoing a change. The ego anchors us in the world and is closely associated with...
By Ken Silvestro, Ph.D. I want to introduce the idea of psychological proof. Why, you might ask? Well, because it differs from scientific proof, which is the well-established, standard way of proving something, and today, for many people, simple beliefs seem to be in vogue as proof. Beliefs, however, are not a form of proof. So, what is non-scientific or psychological proof? As the column title suggests, it's an experiential form of proof; however, a single experience is not sufficient for a...
I've often referred to a person's ego as values, beliefs and identity. Now, we can experience ego and these characteristics first-hand in our social lives. Today, there is an enormous divide between people in our society. The divide has a lot to do with ego. At this time, one of the simplest, yet prominent, areas displaying ego in our society is mask wearing. Not wearing or wearing a mask has become a statement, a competition and a behavior for non-mask promoters as well as mask promoters. By...
I think we all know what it means to control a situation or a pet. Basically, it means the person expressing control dominates through commands, ideas, behaviors and aggression. And control can be applied externally and internally-in relationships and individually. Since we possess consciousness, that is awareness, we have a natural need to control the events in our lives and ourselves. Conscious control enables us to produce order, organize, be disciplined and dictate our free wills. For...
Previous articles described the dark side of the personality or the shadow. Since each person possesses a personal and collective psychology, the shadow has two forms: the personal and the collective. Remember that the collective psychology refers to social and group membership. Earlier articles also presented the idea of meeting the shadow and building a relationship with it to diminish its power, which means that the shadow would be less likely to be expressed unconsciously (from a person's...
In past articles, I presented conscious and unconscious parts of our psychologies in many different ways. Believe it or not, there are still many other ways to describe and discuss these critical parts of human nature. In this article, I thought that I would present some additional details about consciousness in response to a commonly asked question: Why are there such huge differences and tensions, or divided interests, in our country? Of course, the answer is complex but I want to present one major reason – variations in consciousness. R...
Denial is word commonly used in the therapeutic world because many people deny their surrounding reality and their emotions. It is important to ask: Why is denial so common and what does that really mean? When a person has an illness and doesn't admit that she/he is ill, that is an example of denial. If a person hears that a loved one is dying and doesn't accept that fact, then denial is present. These descriptions are clear examples of denial. In both cases, the person is not willing to face...
SEELEY LAKE - Most of us living in Seeley Lake share some common values: independence, some desire to be isolated, appreciation of nature and security for our families and homes. These are important values that are not easy to compromise. We also know that making a living in Seeley Lake is difficult. Given this understanding, let’s consider an important initiative that can affect our values and income—the Seeley Lake Sewer Initiative. No one wants our small community to become a booming met...
When people experience crises, such as the fire crisis in Seeley Lake or the loss of a loved one, there can be a variety of reactions. One of the most common reactions is to avoid their psychological needs and attempt to continue life as if nothing happened. People use phrases such: keep a stiff upper lip, cowboy-up, cowgirl-up or buck-up, to indicate that they are strong or should be strong, while experiencing crises. Ironically, this reaction is contrary to what people believe because it actua...
This past week, a reader asked me a question. The question was basically the following: I'm really good at what I do for living. So why do I dislike it? The answer can vary from person to person and be quite complex. So, I'll provide some common reasons that should be helpful to everyone, revealing psychological complexities as well. Just the fact that humans are both unconscious (have a hidden psychology) and conscious (are aware) is enough to understand that psychology is complex. In previous...
Many people experience frequent excessive delays in life or the inability to make a decision, as well as to complete or begin projects. There can be many different psychological reasons for these delays and inabilities but procrastination is high on the list. The following can be considered examples of procrastination: a person prolongs making a decision by considering the many different possibilities, by simply ignoring the decision or by failing to follow schedules. Procrastination can be...
Rituals surround us every day in small and big ways. In a previous article, I described that our morning and evening routines are rituals. Of course, we never think of our routines as rituals because these ritual behaviors can be so common and familiar. For example, we might exercise at 8 a.m. every day, eat breakfast after exercising, shower after breakfast, feed the dog and go to work. Such behaviors are scheduled in our minds as patterns for our daily routines but patterned behaviors are...
What is paranoia and how can we recognize it? Let's begin with the emotional side of paranoia. In the last article, the emotion of fear was central to the topic of superstition. Again, fear is central to the topic of this article – paranoia. Paranoia brings to mind many different descriptions. For example, you might enter an empty house at night and feel fear, which can then shift to a fantasy or belief that someone is hiding behind the chair or in the closet. Or, in an extreme example, you m...
We might ask if superstition is actually related to psychology. The answer to this question simply requires an understanding that everything a person does, thinks and feels is related to psychology. Psychology is the foundation of human nature and experiences. So, superstition and psychology certainly are related. Superstitions can be simple or complex. For example, one person might place a horseshoe above a doorway to summon good luck to enter. Another person might avoid stepping on cracks. An athlete might wear the same hat, or shirt,...
Have you ever found yourself performing a particular behavior and immediately repeating it, or thinking about something that was followed by a specific behavior, and repeating the combination at different times during the day or week? Or maybe there is a special routine that you perform to help you overcome anxiety or difficulties. Most people experience one, or more, of these behaviors in their daily lives. For example, you're leaving the house to meet a friend but the woodstove is full of...
There are several common answers to this question. For example, an older person is mature. Or, a person who is wise is mature. Another common belief is that a moral person is mature. Although there is some value to these answers, none of the answers are accurate enough. Don't we often see or hear people who are older making immature statements and behaving childishly? And, isn't the news full of moral people doing immoral acts? So, the question remains: What is maturity? There isn't a maturity...
